Visa application process is terrible. Especially when it is for a country like Australia. I must have doled out reams of pages worth of documentation for the same, enough to make a tree out of the same. Rather, a whole, fully-grown tree would have been used to cater to the paper used. And they want some more.

Serious.

Unlike Aamir in Ghajini, I do not suffer from an amnesia of any sort, and I do not remember having spent too much time behind the bars; yet, the documentation could have been enough to put the fear of its maker in any criminal. Probably, it was something to do with the fact that they worship Ricky Ponting in the same vein that most Indians idolize a certain Sachin Tendulkar, and my comments about Ponting’s captaincy were not been taken too kindly by those also concerned with the visa.

Probably.

Anyways, I needed a bank statement from HDFC, the bank where I hold one of my accounts. They had sent it for all months between June and December, but October had been conveniently missed. Not a big problem per se, but Uncle Australia minds. So…call customer care.

Her: Dial 1 for….2 for…3…. (the usual)…also dial 13 for…23 for…35 for…. (so now they have gone into double digits)…yawn….100 to talk to police…101 for ambulance…102 for fire brigade… Don’t remember half the numbers I dialed to finally get through…
Another her: Hello, this is (some name I don’t remember), how can I help?
Me: (Tell her about October problem)
Another her (AH): Alright…please give me your…(a list of security checks)
Me: (share all the not-so-gory details)
AH: Alright, so you want to lodge a complaint for non-receivement?
Me: (receivement does not sound good, does it?), No Ma’am, this is not a complaint, just want my statement, would be more than happy.
AH: Then you need to talk to Relationship Manager.
Me: And where is he?
AH: No, I mean, you need to talk to YOUR Relationship Manager
Me: Do I have one? Which relationships does he look after?
AH: Yours.
Me: Huh?
AH: Your relationships with our bank.
Me: Oh, alright. (I guess I am slow)
AH: So, do you want me to set you up with your relationship manager?
Me: (the words ‘set you up’ and ‘relation’ don’t sound too ‘banking’ when used together)
Me: Yeah, whatever, if that expedites the process.AH: Okay, will put you on hold for a minute. She forgets to put me on hold, so the call is NOT on MUTE. AH (to another customer care person next to her): What idiots, I have to not only take his complain, but he also expects me to set a call-back with RM
Person next to her: Yeah, but is your phone muted?
AH: Oops…(quickly puts it on mute) A minute elapses…
AH: Hello Sir, I have logged the complaint and arranged for a call-back. Your complaint number is….Anything else that I can do for you.
Me: Yeah Ma’am, try abusing customers after using the mute button.
AH: Ohh…
Me: Thanks, bye. I hang up.

I was in office. Over-worked for the day. No inclination to fight being called an idiot. Christmas Eve and all…Christmas spirit and all… I stretched and yawned. Long day ahead. Something tells me that AH’s day may seem a little longer today.

I yawned again