An open letter to Flintoff.

Dear Freddie Flintoff/Fredalo/Andrew,

It was alrite that you said a word or two. Seems petty enough. Probably not.

Either ways, Yuvi's not going to take that lying down.

You forgot Freddie, when in the heat and humidity of Mumbai, you had stripped yourself of ur tee, some one else had not enjoyed the luxury of watching your show too much. He had stripped back at the Mecca, and you could do nothing. Lap Dance at a club in South Africa seems a much better bet. Ask your skipper.

"I made a mistake, that's what it comes down to. The friends that I was with were not massively close friends, to be honest, and they took me to the bar. I realise it was inappropriate and I'm disappointed with myself."

Anyways, so why would Yuvi take s***? And then like a Primary School kid, you rushed off to your fielding position, and let the umpire take control. Just like a Primary Kid as I said, pinches the neighbour and complains to the Headmaster against him. And then runs off. How could you do that?

A certain Gabbar would have said, iski sazaa milegi, barabar milegi.

There was no Gabbar obviously, but you forgot, there was Yuvi. A fired up Yuvi, who had also lost out in a recent race. A race he seemed to be almost leading till recently, when Dhoni pipped him at the post.

So much pent up anger. It had to come out some place, on some one. And, you were a catalyst. A quick check in the Thesaurus reveals that catalysts are substances that participate in reactions but are neither reactants nor products of the reaction they catalyze. You got nothing out of it, nor did you lose anything.

Your team did.

You could have gone upto Yuvi and apologized after the third six. That is like 18 runs still to be made, and you lost the match by 18 runs. Well, England did anyways. You could have saved your team.

You chose to chew your gum instead. And grin, like a school brat sucking on a lollypop. Actually lollypops may just be better for you than getting involved with alcohol yet again. Lest, instead of drowning your sorrows, you end up drowning yourself. Like you almost did some months back. Remember? Hope you do, because, that time, the same was done to you, what you had done to yourself on that sultry Mumbai evening. Stripped. You were stripped of all decision making rights.

And talking of decisions, I wonder who made the decision of playing you in this dead rubber. Despite your injuries. Thought you were being brave eh? A High School phrase said that Discretion is a better part of valor. Didn’t you learn that? Or for that matter, did you learn your tables? History? I am sure you did not. Because had you done it, you would have known that Hitler suffered from a bad tooth ache and still ended up waging a war. And, like you did today, he lost. Miserably.

It’s time you learnt Freddie. Any ways, it does not matter if you don’t. I still love your freckles. And the way you hold your bat. And the way you smile despite all what is going around you. Despite not realizing that Ashes 2005 is already two years old, it is gone. Ashes 2006-07 has also come and gone and you lost, err, your team lost 5-0. They kicked ass. Yours. But no, I still like you. You got a strong one. Ass. You are the best all rounders amongst those who are injured. Serious.

And yeah, if you didn’t notice, your country was the first to introduce Twenty20, were favourites and all. You lost all your matches in the second round. Stop removing your shirt or writing silly stuff that you write in your book about others, and other countries. Because, if bullet pellets do hit you sometime (as you so proudly proclaim could have), you would not be brave enough to take field. School’s over, it is time you graduated. To a more matured adult.

But I still like you. At least you are better than Joginder Sharma, who can neither bowl nor bat, but is there in the team. You at least talk. He felt so awe-stuck today, that even a guy-in-new-love would have felt ashamed. At least you don’t. Or at least I hope you don’t.

Ganesh Chaturthi's being celebrated across India. I will pray for you. Because I like you. Surely. Or at least I think I do.

'Faithfully' Yours,
Me.

P.S. I was one those few lucky souls who saw you strip and play 'catch-me-if-you-can' with your team mates in Wankhede. I really wished I could join them. I would have caught up easily. Or at least I think I would have.

The same letter is also posted at iSport's website.
You can also find the rest of the posts there.